#1 Opportunity to Help All Your Relationships

Over the years, I have worked with many different married couples. Did you know that communication and finances are the two biggest reasons that couples divorce or seek counseling? I have learned that there are some pretty basic things we can do to help communication in our marriages. Here are three essential communication helps:

Active Listening

Focus on genuinely understanding your spouse’s perspective without interrupting.

Use reflective listening by summarizing what they say to ensure clarity. “What I hear you saying is…” and repeat what they said. This shows care, concern and respect that you have heard and understood their statement.

Show empathy by validating their feelings, even if you disagree with their viewpoint. “I understand what you are saying…” or “That must be very hard for you to say….” Or “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Use “I” Statements

Express your feelings without blaming or accusing.

Instead of “You never listen,” say, “I feel unheard when my thoughts are overlooked.” “You…” statements always put the other person on the defensive. Do not do that! “I feel…” statements, typically, cannot be argued with. They set the table for kinder dialogue. This reduces defensiveness and encourages open dialogue.

Regular Check-Ins

These conversations are typically best shared over a meal. NO PHONES ALLOWED! I recommend that every couple spend at least one meal a day with each other or with family, but put your phones in a basket away from the table!!

Set aside time for meaningful conversations about your relationship, not just daily logistics.

Use this time to share concerns, express appreciation for one another, and discuss goals. This habit can strengthen your emotional connection and prevent misunderstandings.

These are just some simple steps that anyone can take to make their marriage richer and longer-lasting. Studying these and implementing them will be time well spent!